United's makeshift defence will stop Villa

Just when you thought it was safe, just when you thought you had him on the ropes, just when you thought he was past it...BOOM! He's at you, off the ropes hitting you with a left, then a right, and dink over the keeper.

"Old man Owen", whose legs are supposed to have gone, whose days as a world-class striker are over, only goes and scores a hat-trick for my beloved Red Devils in the Champions League (are you watching Liverpool?).

In a makeshift raggle-taggle line-up against the German champions, the boys were immense. Fletcher and Carrick looked assured as defenders on a carved up, sodden pitch straight out of the 70s and Kuszczak had another solid evening.

I rate him over Foster, I like a Northern European between the sticks, he's not going to gurn if he gets a half-volley in the face on a cold February night in Moscow, and Kuszczak looks like he's had a few.

Just like old man Owen, Wiley Smiley, comes off the canvas, powers past the London nancies and strong-arms it into third place with a glorious £50 accumulator.

If my other £50-er had of come up, I'd have been top of the league, ma. I suppose it will teach me to rely on the Mickeys to beat an inferior team.

What else? Sol Campbell to Utd? Sure why not, after all, we are the Theatre Of Dreams. So come on Sol, you know what to do, just click those ruby red slippers together and repeat;

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home."

Are Carrick and Fletcher the new Bruce and Pallister? Smiley certainly thinks so, and with Vidic set to return against Villa on Saturday, a United clean sheet looks good value at 2.16.

Published: 9 Dec 2009 - Tags: Darren Fletcher, Front Room, Michael Carrick, Smiley